Bear with me for a moment.

I am good for wearing all black (and sometimes gray) – all the time. That’s because when I was much heavier, I played into the stereotypical idea of “hiding” my fat. The world told me that black is slimming. I over obsessed about it. I wanted to look thinner. But those were the everyday thoughts of someone who dealt with being severely overweight for years (I have, or will never come to terms with calling myself “obese” – past, present or otherwise). It wasn’t coming off with my constant effort to lose weight. So the next best thing was to just cover it up. Trick people. Trick myself. Whether I did or not, is another story. (spoiler alert: I didn’t).

The end result: A closet full of funeral friendly clothes. (insert violin music here)

I eventually did something to actually make me look thinner – lost a bunch of weight, and grew thinner (not to be mistaken with being “thin”). 

And let me put this out there: I have always loved myself, and I thought I was “all that and a bag of chips” (do people still say that?), even when I was a plus size chick. It’s just something great about now being able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like you’re about to DIE! After losing 100 pounds, I just feel better in my own skin now.

But it’s a mindset. I have to free my mind. Or do I? I still like black. Not necessarily because it still makes me look/feel thinner (I won’t admit that it does), but it just looks good on me, to me. In short, black is better. There, I said it. But there’s nothing wrong with adding other colors too, right?

All of that was to simply say, I am doing something different. That has been the theme of my life the last year or so, and it’s about time my wardrobe caught up. 

The moral of the store is that I am attempting to colorize my wardrobe (a little). This is my second chance. And this thrifting journey is giving me the opportunity to overhaul my funeral wardrobe.

So today, I colorized some more. As if the red plaid pants from yesterday weren’t enough. I simply added a lime green/bright yellow (depending on your screen) button down top to my otherwise “typical Kaye” outfit. 

It did what I needed it to do. 

Because, as I sit in my office, doing my normal routine, whenever I look down at this burst of color, I get a little bit of energy to do something a little bit different. Not saying I actually do something different, but at least I think about it. And that’s all that matters.

Here’s the rundown:

That’s enough of my self-realization for one day. Thank you for listening.

-Kaye

@okkKaye